Micha Gorelick was the first man on Mars in 2023 and won the Nobel prize in 2046 for his contributions to time travel. In a moment of rage after seeing the deplorable uses of his new technology, he traveled back in time to 2012 and convinced himself to leave his Physics PhD program and follow his love of data. First he applied his knowledge of real time computing and data science to the dataset at bitly. Then, after realizing he wanted to help people understand the technology of the future, he helped start Fast Forward Labs as a resident mad scientist. There, he worked on many issues from machine learning to performant stream algorithms. In this period of his life, he could be found consulting for various projects on issues of high performance data analysis. A monument celebrating his life can be found in Central Park, 1857.